Monday, November 17, 2014

Personal Blog: Is Suicide the Solution?

Note: This blog is months old. I think I started writing it a few days after the Robin Williams suicide.

Depression is a serious health and mental health concern. Those who have it, already know this and don't need validation from a doctor to be concerned about the health risks it can pose. Knowing from experience, it can certainly put a strain in family relations and create tension in the household. Of course, I come from a household where just saying, "Forget about it" or "Ignore them" is like sprinkling fairy dust and makes all your worries disappear. I am not putting the villain label on my family, but I also don't believe in their thoughts towards depression.

Unless you've been living under the rock for the past few months, you have heard the news that Robin Williams committed suicide. A man with an immense amount of fans, loved ones, and money, who can do such a thing, has boggled peoples minds. How dare he be selfish! They may say. But a lot are not. People have been feeling pity for Robin and wishing there was a way to go back in time and tell him how much he'd be missed. Of course nobody can go back in time. What's done is done and can not be undone. Robin Williams committed suicide due to depression. That's what we know. And like so many actors and actresses who've taken their lives, there will be conspiracy nuts who will say that there was something more to his death than meets the eye. And yes, I know, he was in the early stages of Parkinson's disease. Not what I meant. What I mean is that the nuts will be like, he was really a Soviet Union spy. Yes. The Soviet Union doesn't exist anymore, but you know them nutters.

Don't hate on or think low of those who suffer through depression. It doesn't matter if it's an actor who made everyone smile and laugh or a regular Joe or Jane on the street. We all have issues and some have a harder time dealing with those issues. I, myself, have had depression long since I could remember and as much as I'd love to forget. I think the depression has made me wiser (grumpy as hell, yes, but definitely wiser). I understand where people who think they're hopeless and helpless are coming from.

It's too bad when someone takes their own life in spite of being loved. In the case of Robin Williams, loved by millions. Sometimes the demons win. If you know someone who suffers through depression, don't let their demons win. Help them out; tell them that you love them; let them vent to you. The worst thing you can do is ignore them. The worst thing you can do is tell them they're only doing this for attention. Because you never know. Maybe some people are, but if they're normally very chill people and have a good head on their shoulders, then I would say they're looking for help.

Help today is scarce. It's hard to get help when everything is about medication. The medication sometimes works, but when it don't work, and you don't have any one to talk to, it can be a real bad day ... or month or year. If the pills don't work, here, take more pills. I think the best medicine is talking to people or distracting yourself from what wants to kill you on the inside and sometimes the outside. Like me. I do this for therapy. I write. I go into different worlds that I create inside my mind to get away from everything and everyone. It's the best therapy for me. Pick up a hobby or something to distract yourself. But do something you're happy doing. And a little advice here: Don't watch anything or listen to anything that will just make you more upset. I've learned that the hard way several times. If I'm having a really sad, depressed day, I try to veer away from watching adult oriented movies and watch animated based movies (like How To Train Your Dragon, for example. Hey. Judge all you want. If it makes me feel better, I don't care what people think.)

Have a vent buddy picked out. Someone you know you can talk to about these problems. Don't pick someone who has in the past told you that you're just paranoid or that you need to get over it. Granted, people have their own ways of dealing with depression, but those people need to realize that their ways are not necessarily the right ways for others. I've told many people this (my family -cough-) but it falls on deaf ears. I know the fear with these people is that you will be bugged a lot with this depressed friend. But these people also need to realize that depression is not cured over night. Simply letting them vent to you just gives them one more baby step in feeling better. Maybe letting them vent means they can sleep better at night.

Even though it's good people are really starting to take depression a little more serious, I'm afraid that it's just going to turn into a fad. Much like ALS. Hey, put the villain label on me all you want. The only reason why people jumped on that bandwagon was because people turned it into a game. Granted, it raised a lot of money, but only 20% of that money was actually donated to the cause. Nice, huh? But with Robin Williams committing suicide due to depression and people finally opening their eyes simply because he was a movie star, it's sad. It really is sad. Because depression has been around FOREVER. And it's sad that it takes a movie star, someone you've probably never met in your life, to make you wake up. What about that friend who committed suicide? What about your cousin? Uncle? Etc. Didn't they need help?

This is the problem with our world: we wait until a tragedy happens to notice something. Like people didn't really start jumping on the gay bandwagon until Ellen and various media did stories on these gay teens committing suicide. Now 30 something states allow gay marriage and don't even utter the "F" word or you're fucked (not that F word. The other one. You know the one I'm talking about. Bill and Ted say it a lot.)

But does that mean that we can't start focusing on other people? What? Do we have to wait until a bunch of them kill themselves? There was on quote someone said (I think it was shortly after the gay teen suicide epidemic) and it went like, "We shouldn't be focusing on the dead. We should be focusing on the living." And we should. We honor those who've died with helping those who are dealing with the same issues. But what am I kidding? People are the most cruelest creatures in the world. Telling the general public to be nice and accept everyone for who they are and what faults they have is impossible. People will always be hateful and cruel. They will always hate for no good reason at all, other than, "I just don't like him/her."

What do you do then? You surround yourself with good people. That's it. Block out the bad. Cut it out of your life. It's hard, but I've done it. Granted, I work from home and never leave my house, but ... eh, bad example.

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