Friday, March 24, 2017

WTF Paranormal with James Paradie: "Dude. You need to get laid." The King of Orbs

What's going on, fellow frighteners? Welcome to the revamped Annoying Things About the Paranormal. The name is no more and I have decided that simply WTF Paranormal fits perfectly. I will keep the previous Annoying Things as they were, but this is the name I'm using from now on.

Our first WTF Paranormal is one of the paranormal's hard to kill, stomp it to the freaking ground, thoughts that orbs are spirits. No. I'm sorry. They're not. It's been scientifically proven. But some people won't listen.

Take it from this guy, he's well known around paranormal circles and is the definition of not letting shit go. I have redacted his name from the screenshot, but trust me, it's not hard to find him ... mostly because he shares the same crap everywhere.

Look at all that "evidence." But wait! There's more! 

Oh, look. He even has his "orbs" framed. He's definitely proud of the dust in his house. But wait! Yep. There's more.

And hey! There's Chris Chaos. You know him real well around Scared Sheetless. 

He's the one that showed me this, but like I told him, this guy has been sharing the same crap for years now. I had to unfriend him on Facebook, because I would post something and he would post this shit ... and it had nothing to do with the paranormal. I remember he did it when I was talking about comics and movies ... and music. It became very irritating and even I said, I don't believe in this shit, he would just keep posting his "findings."  

If there was a king of orbs it would be this guy. I'm sure he'd take that as a compliment, but dude, I'm sorry. It's not. 

Let it go. You're making the paranormal look like a freaking joke. 

That's all for WTF Paranormal. I hope you had yourself a good laugh at the king of orbs. He may make another return here, but basically that's all he ever talks about, so probably not. It will be like beating a dead horse and then he'll take a picture of where said dead horse was and claim he can see it in an orb and a bunch of numbers ... -sighs- Freaking orbs, man. Anyway, take care. 


Related Reading Material for Annoying Things About the Paranormal: 

What ghost hunts are you going on, pal? -winky face-

Not knocking the author one bit. Just thought the title was funny for a book about ghost hunting. But it is eye catching and that's important! 

Monday, March 20, 2017

A Paranormal Opinion with James Paradie: Scared to Death of Death

Death. A final conclusion we as humans are not fond of, despite it surrounding us on a daily basis. From friends to loved ones to celebrities to people on the news, it is bound to happen. Unavoidable. No one is exempt. The thought of death and what happens to us once we die is not a pretty thought. We can either die a tragic and painful death or blink once more to never open our eyes again; painless and without warning. We will all either be incinerated in a blazing inferno or buried and rot in the ground for the rest of eternity. Some of us will have generations visit our grave and some of us who are not as lucky will not and our names on our grave will vanish just as the memories of us. Everyone meets their end. Everyone watches their palaces burn to the ground.

Everyone has asked themselves this question at one point: what happens to us after we die? Although, no matter what any one says, we can't really prove what happens to us after we die until we die; it is one of those everlasting questions that does not have an answer. The only ones who know are the dead themselves.

Feelings of death can depend on person-to-person. Some may be overjoyed to see deceased family members if they believe in a heaven or some form of an afterlife. Some may be happy and content, because of various reasons: suicidal or terminal illness being two examples. But the most common emotion is fear. Fear because we really don't know what happens when we close our eyes for the last time.

A lot of people believe you go to Heaven, or some form of paradise, where your departed family members and friends wait for you. They come with you on your journey to this wonderful place. Clouds. Angels. You know the story. That is one of the more common ones, but where does the fear come from then if you're "promised" this destination once you pass away?  

It could be because a lot of people who may believe in that, may realize there is the slightest chance it could be malarkey. The blanket of security of an afterlife or a heaven may not actually be feasible. Or maybe because people of religion may be afraid of another place - Hell. The place you go to, according to The Bible, if you sinned. A place of eternal suffering.

But what if you don't believe in God, Heaven, the devil, or Hell? What do you fear then? Death itself. The terrible thing about death is most of the time we don't know when it's going to happen. Some do with incurable illnesses where a doctor can determine how long a person has to live. Most don't know, so all we have is an undetermined amount of time. Time to accomplish. Time to spend with our loved ones. Time to find ourselves. But time is constantly running out. It runs out even faster if you take advantage of your life. Smoking, drinking, doing drugs, eating unhealthy, but yet, people who do that still fear death when they're only making the process that much faster. But then again, a lot of us would most likely be lying if we said we never indulged in at least one of those bad habits.

I have heard many paranormal investigators say they do what they do, because they fear death. They fear what lies, if anything, on the other side. They want to find proof to give them that comfort. Although, there has been some interesting findings in paranormal research, we still can't say for certain if there is life after death. What if they found out? Will they just pack up and stop? Or will they find out more? Most likely the latter. Sometimes though, I feel that paranormal investigators get too caught up in the end result and not the journey of life itself. Too caught up on death can be a bad thing.

What if nothing lies ahead? What if you die and that's it? You only live on in memories. There is no afterlife, no God, no Heaven nor Hell. Nothing. You do not exist in any form whatsoever. A black void of nothingness. But why should that scare people? If you don't exist, you won't feel anything, because there was a time when we didn't exist and that was before we were born. We only exist in memory after death. That's it. It shouldn't be scary. Things that can hurt should be scary. Taxes should be scary. Snakes should be scary. Basically what I'm saying is THE NOW should be scary. Right now is the only time we should fear, because now is the only time that matters. After death, we have nothing to worry about. I mean, yes, if there is that slight chance that a religious afterlife does exist, then maybe, but who knows until then. 

You can fear all you want, but if you let the fear rule you, it will devour you. Live while you still can. 

Friday, March 17, 2017

Cobweb and Stripes Review with James Paradie: Chapter 14 - "World of pure imagination" Part 1/?

What's going on, Beetlejuice fans? It is Friday, which means another review of The Ghost ... no. What's this? Cobweb and Stripes? But that's supposed to be Monday? Oh, right. I was a lazy asshole on Monday, so I didn't get to it until today, being Friday. Oh, well. At least it's up.

Willy Wonka reference? As long as it's not the Johnny Depp version, we're cool. There is only one Willy Wonka and that is Mr. Gene Wilder! Then again, it could be not a Willy Wonka reference and I'm just ranting for no reason. What a tit I am if that's the case.

Ada warned me. This is the big one. The large chapter. What are we waiting for? Let's go!  



We start off with Lydia's alarm going off and it's a vampire in a casket. Nice. I'd totally own one. But as soon as she presses it, Beetlejuice is now the vampire. He greets her with a jolly, "Hello there!" Lydia bids him the same and brings him to the Outerworld by saying the 3 B's. Lyds heads out of her room as Beetlejuice follows. She tells him he doesn't have to accompany her all the time, seeing as they're not chained to each other anymore. He asks if he's bothering her, but she says no, it's just ... 

Holy crap, it's Delia! She finally makes an appearance in this comic. Please tell me she's still a bitch and not all of the sudden jippy, perky, annoying cartoon Delia. She tells Lydia to watch where she's going and walks away, asking where are her gloves. I'm glad it's movie Delia, but damn it, Ada, we all want to know where her gloves went! Umm, plot hole much? See. I finally made up that fake excuse to not show favoritism! Yes! I knew I could come up with a reason. Missing gloves ... never resolved. PLOT FREAKING HOLE! Boom! Yes, of course, I'm kidding. I always joke every week that I need to find some problems with this comic, so people who read the other comic won't think I'm being bias. Anyway, Lydia sarcastically says it's good to see her too. 

Now we see Charles, who's appearance is an improvement from the last time we saw him. He's going over a check list as Lydia comes in and asks him why Delia is uptight. She is flying to New York, because a gallery is going to exhibit her art. He's also leaving, because he has a conference. Hmm. Wasn't Charles retired in the movie, because his nerves were shot? I could be wrong. 

Lydia asks why today? Charles apologizes, saying he knows it's her birthday, but there was nothing he could do about it. Lydia, I hear you. My family decided to go to the casino -not on just one birthday's of mine, but two- and they used the same excuse: nothing we could do about it. LIES! He says that he will be back tomorrow. He says to take advantage and invite one of her friends. He says to invite the one he met on Halloween. Betty. Lydia looks over to where Beetlejuice was sitting, but he's gone. I should've mentioned that up until now, Beetlejuice was following Lydia, but was invisible. 

Eventually her parents leave and Lydia decides to start partying ... by developing photographs. Hey, who am I to judge? I write reviews for a good time ... and people love me for it. Yeah ... no. They don't. -sad face- Lydia put's on a little tunes. That of Harry Belafonte's "Jump in the Line." Good tune, always hoping they would make a metal version. 

Oooh, we have some risque stuff happening. Lydia is taking her pajamas off. But bummer for those of you who have the hots for Lydia (yes, like me), you don't see anything. Unless you're a back guy/girl. Just as she is getting her shirt on, Beetlejuice appears in the mirror. He comments, "Looks like I've missed something ..." Yeah. We know, bud. We're bummed out too. Minus five stars for the tease, Ada. Not appreciated! I'm kidding. Of course. Do I really need to keep saying that? Oh, well. 

Lydia asks where he's been and Beetlejuice says kind of awkwardly that he had stuff to do. As soon as Lydia says the 3 B's bringing him into the Outeworld, he covers her eyes. He spins her around and suddenly she's blindfolded. He tells her it's a game and to seek. 

He tells her to be careful. It's big and hard. ... You know what that means. Sound the alarm for the Beetlejuice erotic fan fiction! No. False alarm. Phew! I mean, I have a feeling if Ada ever took a whack at the erotic stuff between Beetlejuice and Lydia she would be fine. But Beej confirms it's not what she thinks. It's a gift! Rather than explain it, I need to show you, because we see our next cartoon nod come into the realm of Cobweb and Stripes. 

It's her spider web clothes/rob-thingy (I'm terrible when it comes to clothes). The other surprising part was Jacques is married? Of course, we need to remember this isn't following the cartoon exactly. It's just bringing in characters from the cartoonverse into this universe, so of course they're going to have new or altered back stories. Looking forward to GINGAH! (Ginger. You'll have to read my The Ghost with the Most reviews). 

Lydia asks what the key is for and Beetlejuice says it is to enter the Neitherworld. Beetlejuice tells her that she must have heard about people contacting the other side. She says they know it's not hard from experience. Beej has something different in mind than just chatting through a mirror. What he wants to do is have her cross into the Neitherworld while she is alive. No out of body experience, because nobody can do that without skill. She needs someone to guide her. 

Lydia tries to take the key, but Beetlejuice tells her not so fast. Something is missing. Beetlejuice takes out a single hair and put's it inside. Oh, it's a potion. Lydia doesn't seem all that keen on drinking it, but says, "Let's do it." But wait, what if something goes wrong? Beetlejuice says, she won't kick the bucket. It just won't work. That's all. Lydia asks if his hair (or as she puts it "lovely spicing") wills serve its purpose? Beetlejuice says it creates a bond between the two. It grants her a small amount of Beetlejuice's power to travel to the other side. Okay. I will remember that on my next paranormal investigation. All I need is some ghost hair! 

Beetlejuice warns her there may be some side effects and she may go bananas, but just a little. Some people have a hard time handling what they see in the Neitherworld. Lydia says she wouldn't do it if she wasn't a little unbalanced. ... Kinky? Actually, I did like that line. 

This next page made me laugh, so I'll just post it. 

Lydia falls down a very deep abyss. I thought they were going to have to play 20 questions just to pass the time in a la Bill and Ted fashion. 

Lydia: Hey Beej. Wanna play 20 questions? 

Beetlejuice: Okay! I got one! 

Lydia: Is it a mineral?

Beetlejuice: Yeah!

Lydia: Are you a tank!? 

Beetlejuice: Whoa! Yeah! 

And then they do an air guitar solo. Oh, you know it would be most excellent!  

Back to the comic, Beetlejuice is racing her down and says, whoever is last smells like old people. I'm sure some old people will be TRIGGERED! when they read that. My grandfather smelled good actually. No. It's not like I put my head up to him and took a big whiff. I'm not THAT weird, guys. 

She then hit's the ground and ... 

Leaving it right there. This is a pretty long chapter, so I'm going to break it up in pieces. With that said ... 

What did I think? 

I'm excited they're finally entering the Neitherworld together. I know they brought Lydia's room to the Neitherworld for Chapter 8 for Beetlejuice's court case, but we didn't exactly see it, see it. It will be interesting to see Ada's version of the Neitherworld. And yes, I know, I'm spelling it wrong than what she does in her comic. I'm just spelling it the way it is in the cartoon, which is also wrong, but play on words was Beetlejuice the cartoon's specialty. More force of habit than anything. 

As always, I thought the dialogue really fit the characters. I'm not scratching my head like, "What? They would never say that!" 

The art is great. 

Nothing bad to say about this at all. I did make up a few knit-picks, but I was kidding. 

I'm going to try and get part 2 up on Monday and get back into the regular scheduling of these reviews. I am also going to try and post the next The Ghost with the Most review today, but no promises. 


Read my other reviews on Cobweb and Stripes: 

For more Cobweb and Stripes, check out these destinations. 

Also, be sure to check out Ada's original projects as well. She's a very talented artist and does take commissions.   


Beetlejuice Related Reading Material 

Nice *Bleeping* Sequel! (A blog I wrote when news was running rampant about a Beetlejuice sequel)

Would You?

Sure. I mean, as long as I can return to the land of the living. I don't need to return in my body, though. Someone else is fine. Preferably attractive. 

The Paranormal Guide Presents: Funeral homes, cemeteries, and hauntings

Funeral homes, cemeteries and hauntings

Have you ever had a paranormal experience while visiting, working at or (in the case of prior funeral homes and reclaimed cemetery land) living at one of these places built in the service of saying goodbye too and the remembrance of the dead?

Many people will share their stories of ghostly encounters in places such as cemeteries and graveyards, and you do come across quite harrowing tales that take place in ex funeral homes, but many people question such hauntings - why is there so much activity taking place at these locations when really they are just temporary holding places or a more permanent resting place for our physical remains?

Do we long for our lives after our deaths and as such do some energies try to cling to that large piece of their physical existence - their bodies?

Or is it the energies of those who come to see their deceased family members and/or friends, either in a funeral homes viewing room or at the graveside, and the emotional charge such times typically carry?

Or are there other things lurking in these places of the dead?

Or is it in peoples heads, a want to believe that their loved ones have carried on after death?

What about the discussion of places such as cemeteries, attaching a tag to them that will make them desirable for visitors… some not always savoury who leave headstones and memorials in ruins in the hopes of provoking a reaction from the dead?

As always have a go at this topic from any relevant angle you see fit (remember this is for places where the body goes AFTER it is dead), be it to share your experiences and/or to tackle some of the questions presented. Also Include mausoleums, crematoriums, graveyards etc in your answers... any place that deals with the processing and remembrance of the dead.

(This question was suggested by Cindy Sharp who had it cross her mind while watching a investigation show featuring a funeral home and its hauntings. If you have any general paranormal questions you would like to see covered on this page please inbox me. )

For all things paranormal, strange, dark and macabre check out The Paranormal Guide:

Monday, March 13, 2017

Creepy Stories: The Mystery of the Doorbell Stranger (NOOOOPE!)

Before I start this article, let me say that you will absolutely not see a picture of it here. It creeps me out that much. I absolutely refuse to find it, because I never want to see it again. NEVER, ever again. I will provide a link to a video that has the picture on it, but that's it. I do not want it on this site, because I update a lot of my articles and I just don't want to see it. Call me a wimp, I don't care. It freaks me out that much.


The story takes place on Reddit, where a user was chronicling a series of strange events where his doorbell sensors would go off, but there'd be no one in the pictures. Assuming it's just the neighborhood pet, he goes about his merry way. Until the third night is when there is an unexpected visitor.

(This is where I'd give you a picture for visual reference, but NOOOOOOPE. Put it this way: I hate snakes so much, I can't even watch them on TV. I hate this picture even more that I would easily trade petting a snake than ever seeing this goddamn picture again.)

The stranger (for a lack of a better term) is wearing a creepy mask and peering right into the camera. This person knows there's a camera there and is making a mockery of the homeowner trying to keep out intruders. After checking his notifications on his phone, he notices the late night visitor came at odd hours of the night. Even weirder is after the picture revealed him/herself, the stranger never showed him/herself again.

It almost makes me think that this stranger was either just a person looking to freak someone out (mission accomplished) or just a friend playing around. But we may never know the truth.

If you'd like to see this nightmare fuel, you can click this link ... ha! You thought I was going to provide a link. Well, no. Because if I put the link down, Blogger automatically adds the video and the damn picture is the thumbnail for the video. NO! You want to see this monstrosity so badly, you can search "5 Unsolved Mysteries and Unexplained Events" by Nuke's Top 5 yourself. I know I'm hyping this picture to be the freakiest thing ever and it's not. It's just some guy in a mask, but it get's to me. When I first saw it, I couldn't sleep at night. It was like it was burned into the back of my eyelids. I'd close my eyes and there it was. I've had to train myself to do mental gymnastics, so I never even think of it. Even for this article. I've done tons of articles on weird crap and none of them have freaked me out as much as this. Not even The Expressionless.