The Bloopers Edition

Scared Sheetless: The Bloopers Edition
April Fools Day

It's that time of year when the jokers of the world find the pawns to prank and bank on it with a bunch of gaffs and laughs. Thinking of April Fools day made me think of all the funny things that have happened to me during investigations. In other words, the times I've made a complete jackass out of myself, because even though I make myself seem like the cool investigator on these investigations (so I think at least), I'm really quite foolish during them. Not that I don't know what I'm doing, I'm just a magnet for my own self embarrassment. Here's some examples of what I mean and you be the judge.

It was my first investigation back in October of 2009, it would be a few months before Scared Sheetless made it's debut in the White Mountain Shopper and a year before it made its debut in the Trendy Times, so you will see why this got lost in the shuffle and was never made into an article in either newspapers. The reason for that was because I had no idea what I was doing. I can make a huge list, but here's the cliff notes:

I was late, probably by 20 minutes. I was a wicked anti social with the whole group (I'm a shy guy when meeting new people, but once you get to know me...you won't be able to shut me up---ask NEPI). We get to the investigation, which was in West Danville, Vermont, and everyone's wearing pants and a NEPI shirt. I'm wearing shorts, sandals (it was twenty degrees outside that night) and I believe either a Slipknot or Iron Maiden shirt...not sure which, but not really a good first impression.

We first start out in the basement and we're walking around. I feel the fridge and I'm like, "The fridge is cold." As if it's a huge mystery for a fridge to be cold. All Anthony could say was, "Yep" and hope to God I was being a smart allelic...I wasn't. After that I was kicking myself in the butt going, Duh! Fridges are suppose to be cold, smarty! Why don't you go tell them with your big brain of magnificence that furnaces are hot! Or how you don't think before you open your mouth!

I couldn't stand still for the life of me during the investigation and it got so bad that Anthony and Nikki had to tell me to calm down. Waiting is everything in an investigation (a little helpful tip for any inspiring investigators out there). There was this one moment where Phyllis, Michelle, Nancy, and myself were down in the basement trying to do an EVP session. Instead they were playing this rhyming game. For example: "Ted went to bed and said to his wife Bev..." Except their way was a bit more rated R. Anyway, they got to the point where we were all laughing so hard Anthony could hear us on the third floor! It's a good thing the clients were outside having a fire, because if they heard us they would be wondering "What is up with these clowns?"

But the most embarrassing moment for myself was the house was really hot, so Phyllis decided to take off her sweat shirt and put on her regular NEPI shirt. She has me turn around, not really the best solution, because instead of turning around to a wall, I turn around to a mirror and see everything (she had a bra on, so keep your minds out of the gutter, people). Regardless, she wasn't too thrilled. Thinking back on this investigation makes me even wonder why they kept me in the first place. I don't know, but I know that my farce moments in NEPI are only going to add up. But I'm only allowed 800 words...so, yeah, I don't have enough room in this edition and this was from only ONE investigation!