Monday, December 1, 2014

Annoying Things Paranormal CLIENTS Do by James Paradie

Oh, I love this as the unofficial Annoying Things header. Don't you? Yes. You do. No idea who made it, but I love it. 

Clients, clients, clients. We love you. Seriously, we do. You're the ones who continue our journey into proving that we're not psychotic. I'm the exception to that rule, cause if you've been a fan or visitor of Scared Sheetless, you will know that I'm plenty loco. 

Hello boils and ghouls, it is I, the scary one, with another Annoying Things for you! This time I'm switching targets. I am not going to be talking about paranormal investigators, but instead annoying things clients do and should not to; no sir. 

We need clients. They're the most important aspect of a paranormal investigation. Without them, we're nothing. Actually, the spirits are the most important, because without them ... well, the skeptics were right all along! Yeesh and wouldn't that be a frickin' bummer? But the clients are very important and we need them, they need us. They have the problem, we have the answers. You get my point. I don't need to over-exaggerate it anymore.

Most clients that I've bumped into have been great. They're kind and well-mannered, but I've been around the spooky block a time or two, so I've had a few experiences where they tend to go from kind to damn annoying. Here's a list of things to not do during an investigation (Client issue).

-Do not tell us how to use our own equipment. We are (or SHOULD BE) trained in how to use our tools. This hasn't happened to me specifically, but I have seen it happen. A woman who was having a "demon" problem was getting very mad at us because our equipment wasn't showing any activity. "Don't you know how to use that?" She asks. "Yes. We do." "Well, I don't think so." Something along those lines. But we all took a census after that investigation and we decided that this woman is bat-shit crazy. She really is a confirmed loony. Someone was telling me that people showed up at her house, dragged her out, and took her to the mental house. I actually have a blog written out about that interesting investigation that I have never posted on here. I will someday.

-This falls into the equipment category (and the same lady too): Don't grab it out of our hands and start waving it around like a magical wand. Yelling, "See! See! I got it to work." No, you didn't. Know your role and give me back my EMF Meter. Psycho lady was "fun" in this way.

-Another thing, don't get mad at us if we don't find anything. First of all, it's your house. You're there all the time. Second, we're not there all the time. We're there for only a few hours. And spirits, as I've learned, can be crafty little buggers. Don't worry. We don't think you're nuts or making things up. It's just at that present time we're there, nothing is happening. Don't get mad. We can always do a 2nd investigation. And NEPI is so good, we have done second or third investigations. People love me. Well, them. I'm actually the quiet one. ... I am too!

-Don't try to scare us. Maybe I'm the only one making a big deal out of this, but we did this investigation at some house and this kid was constantly trying to scare us. We're paranormal investigators. We delve into dark, scary places. Places where you will be pissing yourself, you little shit. Okay. I'm partly joking. But honestly, trying to scare us is not going to work. You will fail.

-Showing up at clients house and they're drunk. We wouldn't do the same to you. Although, it would make for a frickin fun investigation! ... Don't listen to me. This is why I am not a leader! Seriously though, be sober. Unless you have some to share ... (don't listen to me.)

-Clean up! I've been to a house (crazy lady) and the woman was a hoarder. You could barely manage to walk through her house. We have expensive equipment that we're trying to carry in. The least you can do is put that crap in a closet, so we can move easily. Also, when running wires throughout the house, it becomes a nuisance to reach around things to plug stuff in.

-Don't be a con. Most investigators can see right through the bullshit. Plus, we're thorough lookers. We're always looking for ways to debunk evidence. You can try, but you will fail.

-Talking constantly during EVP sessions. When we listen back to that and all we hear is your big mouth, I'm not going to listen to it. You may have a Class A EVP, but I can't hear it, because you can't shut up for a few minutes. And still talking after we tell you not to pisses us off too.

-Don't be late for your own appointment. I can understand if you're running a little late, but waiting an hour for someone to show up. We should leave after a half an hour.

-Don't tell us you're going to call, but never do. Saying no to having an investigation is fine. You don't need to have us hanging by a thread, waiting for your call.

That's all I can think of right now, guys. But if you have anymore, by all means, please post your experiences in the comments below. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Only members of this blog can comment. Sorry. Too many trolls and jerks ruined it for everyone.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.