Totally not paranormal, scary, or even my incredible Titanic Facts, I know. But due to popular demand (actually only one person saying it is a good idea - thank you, Michael) I am going to do this anyway. Why? Because I enjoy bitching is why. It's my favorite activity and you can do it while sitting down! Which is another favorite activity of mine ... I wish I could do a happily surprised face here, but Blogger is very limited in the capabilities department. Oh, of course I'm joking (shakes head, no. Blogger can't see me.)
Where was I? Oh, yes! The annoying things that make Facebook the cesspool of drama, false bad asses, and people smoking too much crack. If you're one of these people and don't like what I say, then well, delete me and talk about how much of an asshole I am after you do! Cause you know you're going to do exactly that. Okay, that can be considered number one.
2. "You're totally a bad ass sitting behind a computer screen," says people who don't have a brain! Listen, if you go up to the person who is giving you a hard time, ripped off your shirt, bulked out your muscles in the blink of an eye, and punched your hater's head off, then sure, you're a bad ass mofo. BUT if you do it on the computer screen, you might as well get a sign that says "white trash" and put it on your head. Why? Cause only people who are white trash do that shit! If someone really pisses you off, take it to the person who pissed you off. But oh, wait. You're looking for sympathy likes, shameful pats on the shoulders, and some idiot who types in a yell, "KICK HIS ASS, MAN! KICK HIS ASS!" Because white trash hangs out with white trash. We all know that a lot of people on Facebook don't live up to what they perceive to be on the social media empire. For example, on my Facebook I'm a lovable, care-given, humanitarian. In real life? ... Nah. That's about right ........... :D But the last thing anyone wants to see after a drama filled day is ....? More drama! I mean, if you actually had the person you were insulting on your Facebook as a friend, then that would be one thing (I actually saw it yesterday. Most entertaining shit I've seen in a while), but if you don't, then shut up. Okay? Shut up. Share a picture of your kitty (an actual kitty, not ... well, hell, if you want to, go ahead with the other thing :P) and just save it. Because you will get a few people who are like, "Oh, you poor thing." "I wouldn't want to screw with you." "KICK HIS ASS, MAN! KICK HIS ASS!" And you'll get some Likes, maybe a lot. But the majority of people are going to look at your status and think you're a complete tool!
3. "My kid just drank bleach! What should I do?!" Why, wasting precious time asking people on Facebook is the first thing I'd NOT do! Have you ever heard of an emergency room? Your kid's esophagus will be squeaky clean, but I'm sure that poison isn't doing wonders for him/her. Go to the ER and ask them. "But I don't have insurance and ..." Go to the freaking ER, you stupid knob!
4. "It's a conspiracy!" A good friend of mine, Chad Stambaugh, gave the name of these people, "Mindless Sheep Syndrome." Honestly it should be an actual syndrome, because people who can't think for themselves will always believe everything they hear. You know the people who are constantly posting pictures and saying crazy shit. The only way you can understand them is if you're as crazy as them. I honestly delete these people, because this is all they do. They share "articles" from websites (most of which you've never heard of up until then) and without any rational thought or proper evidence, they claim it as true. I somewhat feel sorry for them, but not totally, because they believe the garbage they are fed as fact. And as much as I liked Jesse Ventura's Conspiracy show, I don't enjoy seeing the loonies who talk about it on my wall.
5. "Rest in Peace (Insert the name of someone still alive here)." Oh, this one never gets old. Remember last year when Jackie Chan died like fifty times? Or The Rock? They weren't even dead! Still not. I love replying to these people and just explaining to them how much of an idiot they're making themselves look. See, websites are everything. If you don't recognize the website and they're the only ones reporting it, then it's 100% likely not true. Of course, when this shit happens it makes it hard to believe when actual celebrities die. Like when Paul Walker died. A website that I didn't know posted it first and I was like, "This is bullshit." And then CNN posted it and bigger news, entertainment chains started talking about it. Well, it's true as we all know. It's like crying wolf reporting false crap like that. The best advice I can give to those people is don't jump the gun. Look it up first before you post.
6. "I added you and never talk to you, but get mad at you when you delete me." Really? This has happened to me a few times. People add me and then I do a little friend spring cleaning and delete the person. Suddenly I get a message and it's that person I just deleted who says, "Why did you delete me?" Well, you never talk to me, like my statuses, blah, blah. Why does it matter? And then out of pity I add them back. Repeat the same shit over again.
7. Negative. Always negative. You've probably bumped into this type of "friend." I remember on my personal Facebook I added someone who said we were cousins (I guess it's true) and she went months without talking to me. When she finally talks to me it's about something negative. First impressions are everything, people. So, needless to say, I deleted her. Speaking of ...
8. "The world sucks so much that I'm going to post nothing, but sad things all the time." Bumped into this too. I added someone, had no idea who she is, just someone told me that she is a family friend. All she ever did was post nothing but negative shit. It was like a pity party all day long on her wall. It was always sad stuff too, like a baby being abused, or puppies getting the shit kicked out of them, terrible stuff. I don't want to see that! The outside world sucks enough! I want to jump on Facebook and see pictures of kitties damn it!
9. "I hate what you like. Please stop liking things!" On my other Facebook account, my Scared Sheetless one, I like a lot of ... sexy stuff, if you will. Beautiful women posing in revealing outfits. I'm a guy! I believe in women's rights and all that, but come on! If they're getting paid for it, are happy with doing it, then who gives a crap?! Well, I liked this one page that had a perverted title to it (all I remember was that it had the word "Cum" in it) and she posts a status, tagging me, saying, "Scared Sheetless you like this page (I can't remember what it's called now). Really? Ewww." So I unlike the page, message her PRIVATELY (which she could have done with me, rather than embarrassing me) and told her I apologize, it's gone. She sees it, but doesn't give me reply, which irritates me about people. Well, not even five minutes later, I swear, she posts a status basically talking about how much her and her husband fuck like rabbits. And I'm like, really?! You want to talk about perverted, how about what you just said? Stupid! I posted a status, making sure she had enough time to see it, and deleted her dumb ass.
10. "Oh, you didn't see my first few statuses about it? Let me beat into your brain!" So, this one is a little bit more of a gray area. I'm not sure if it will piss people off, maybe people will just say that's my opinion, but whatever. It does irritate me, I have to admit. They're people who are too proud of things they do, believe in, or what have you. I remember I added this girl onto my Facebook, I knew her since school, and she was having problems with men. What does she do? She is now a born again lesbian. Alright, no problem. I'm gay friendly. But the thing is, every single status has to talk about. "Oh, just made out with a girl. But I'm lesbian." "Just shaved my head. I'm a lesbian!" Like some of her stuff was too stereotypical for me. I was waiting for her to say that she just bought a flannel jacket ... and that she's a lesbian. She can get away with it! It wasn't the fact that she was a lesbian that bothered me, it was her constant bragging about it! The guys who have no respect for women and see them as meat will probably love every little lesbian comment you make, but the problem is the majority of lesbians (REAL lesbians) don't fucking brag about it. If you want attention, maybe get a new hairstyle; dress; whatever. I think it was just to grab attention, but I don't know. I deleted the annoyance a long time ago.
11. "I have a Facebook and I like political pages, that means I know politics!" Okay, firstly, I HATE politics. I HATE politicians. I'm one of those people who thinks that big businesses really run America and the President is nothing but a pawn. I do not vote, that's my right as an American. I will never vote, ever, because again that's my right. But also it's because I hate politics. Politics and people who love them, remind me of my school days. You know those little arguments, "My daddy can beat your daddy!" Exactly what I think about politics. People are little kids about it. People try to paint everyone who doesn't agree with them as villains. It's immature, so I'd rather not see my wall covered with that bullshit.
12. "One Like equals one Prayer!" or "If you like this status an angel will help you with one big problem!" Alright, so most of you who read Scared Sheetless probably know I'm not a religious guy and I do not believe in God. This is NO way picking on those who do. The thing that irritates me is those who post those sad pictures of someone, may it be a kid or a person in the hospital, and they say, "If you like this, that will equal one prayer for so and so ..." Okay. If God does exist, I don't think Heaven has a database that keeps track of all those prayers. "Ah-ha! A Like from Joe Schmo." And the Like = Prayer Configuration Technician presses a button that says, "Prayer" and a wonderful chime plays over loud speakers. I HIGHLY doubt it. If anything, get off your butt, and pray for them rather than using a Like to do it cheaply. Also, liking a status that says angels are going to help with your problem in less than fifteen minutes? Doesn't work, does it? Didn't think so.
Did that work? I bet not!
12b. Please look at this example before I continue.
Description with photo: Huge Amount of money will deliver to you in Jesus name.
15 hours from now" you will see it.
Type Amen and Share to claim this prayer.
As the same above, how did that work for you? Besides, aren't you religious people suppose to spreading the word of God and his faith? Who needs money when you have God?! Wow. I feel weird saying that last part. Can you imagine someone living under a bridge saying something like that? "I don't need money. The power of God will pay me! I typed AMEN on Facebook and Jesus is suppose to be sending me money. Maybe he meant 15 months instead of 15 hours." Ignorance! Ignorance surrounds us!
13. Stop with the close ups. I've deleted or at least unfollowed people who post constantly close ups of their face. Hey, loving yourself and how you like is great. More power to you. Even if you're not my cup of tea, that shouldn't stop you from loving how you look. But I don't need to see your face in HD! Or taking at least 30 pictures a day of just your face is also annoying. STAHP IT!
NOBODY CARES
14. Like Pages - some countries don't understand their purpose. Mostly Brazilians. This isn't a shot at them. I love Brazilian women, they're pretty hot. Looks aside though, I'm sure they're splendid people, but ... they don't understand Like pages. Like pages are your interest. For example, if a band I like has a page, I can Like it and receive all their latest news on my News Feed. Sometimes, depending on the subject matter, I like to check out what other fans are saying. Most of the time it's people showing their support while it seems like the other half is bitching that they're not touring in their location. Then there are the people who just say where they're from. Fore example, Slipknot could post a picture and most people would say, "Cool picture," what have you. But then you get like 20 people just randomly saying, "Brazil." How does that add to the discussion? If, say, my friends are talking about the latest movie and I randomly say, asparagus, they're going to look at me weird. This is exactly how most people feel about the whole Brazil thing. It's not just Brazil either, it's Argentina, it's Peru. And then you get those asshole spammers who are trying to scam you into a Clash for Clans, or whatever the hell it's called, tokens. But then I got to thinking, what if Brazilians are like Smurfs. Brazil could mean anything. Yeah. That's it.
15. This!
16.
People who really should read stuff before they post - "... artist stop by your house and SING," SING! SING! Read the words, dude. Da Vinci was an artist, yes. He composed music and even played, but there is not one single piece of music by him that has survived the ages. So when they say artist to come to your house and sing, they mean someone who is actually a well-known musical artist. Unless you love the symphonic tone of a brush against canvas, I think you should take lessons re-reading before you share.
17. What's more annoying than Brazilians simply putting "Brazil!" in every comment that doesn't have to do with Brazil? People who still to this day have to tell the world they're the 'first comment.' I have never seen the fad in this or why it is even a fad in the first place. It's irrelevant to the discussion nor does it add anything. Thankfully more and more people are kicking this stupid fad, but there are still a few people late to the 'first!' party that are keeping it alive. It's annoying. Stop.
18. Speaking of irrelevant comments, how about them people who say random things on Like pages? For example, when I watched pro wrestling, I Liked the WWE Facebook page. Every single post they ever made would have someone who always had to say something random that didn't add anything to the conversation. Like they could be talking about the latest episode of Raw and plastered all over the comments would be these irrelevant comments. For example, they post something on Raw and you'll get someone who simply says, "undertaker." How's that even relevant? Yes, I know Undertaker is a wrestler or former, who the hell knows anymore, but he wasn't there. Simply saying his name isn't adding anything. I wish I could elaborate even more or give you a few examples, but you'll just have to trust me on this. Not trying to sound racist either (even though I don't think it's racist at all, but screw it) all the people who made irrelevant, nothing to do with the subject, comments were Arab, Iranian, those types. I get it that they may not understand just what in the hell is being discussed, but ... you're only making yourself look stupid.
19. For the love of my eyes, why do people have to show their gross scabs, rashes, gashes, pimples, boils, or whatever on Facebook?! It's gross. Knock the shit off.
20. This stupid shit:
21. Pity parties:
22.
Why do people post these on their walls when they're not going to get one million likes considering Facebook only allows 5,000 friends? You have a page with a million likes? Great. Maybe you'll get it, but "normal folk" won't and it's mostly them who post these.
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